How I Lose You by Kate McNaughton

What happens to a story when it ends too soon?

This is the story of Eva and Adam. It ends on page twelve. 

This is a beautiful read which is not only full of heartache and heartbreak, but also full of heart and warmth. It is an emotional read and yet, despite the palpable evocation of grief and loss, McNaughton has balanced it with a story that offers hope and acceptance. 

This is a story about Eva and Adam, but we know from reading the front cover that is not going to be a happy one. From the opening, as we are only just beginning to get to know our protagonists, we are faced with Adam's death. And Eva, confident in love and comfortably settled, with a future, suddenly finds herself alone and adrift. Adam dies in his sleep after a night out. I found this a really interesting plot point and thought that the moment at which Eva realises he is dead was very well handled and presented. There is no sensationalised accident, or emotive dramatisation of Adam being a victim of someone else's mistake or malice; there is no lingering illness or suggestion that Adam is in any way at risk of dying - she just suddenly awakes to find he has ceased breathing. It's powerful. 

Throughout the novel, McNaughton's writing feels authentic and real. Eva's character is well crafted, always believable and McNaughton manages the balance of evoking the various stages and degrees of Eva's grief with conviction and sensitivity. There were some scenes that were incredibly powerful and there were some sentences that stopped me in my tracks. There are some lines that are so resonant and thought provoking that any reader will be challenged to consider their own mortality and the feelings they have for those around them. I really enjoyed the mix of dialogue, passages which told the story and then the interjections of more direct, perhaps more philosophical or poetic passages as Eva muses on - or tries to accept - her situation. The undulating rhythm of the prose is used effectively to tell both a story of a young couple as they fall in love and a contemplation on love and loss. 

The structure of the novel is also very effective. It moves backwards into the past to show the reader Eva and Adam's relationship which helps lift the atmosphere of the novel, as well as reveal more about the characters. Then there is a contrast from the moments set in the present, which to begin with are much bleaker but develop to tell a new story. As the novel progresses, the author weaves in more threads, plot lines and interesting revelations which suddenly begin to take the novel in a different direction. At 400 pages long, McNaughton has enough time to make this a more complex and multilayered novel and to make it more than just a tale of a woman rebuilding her life. I never once felt that the novel was slowing down or over written but enjoyed spending the time with the characters and their journeys. 

I liked this novel because there were so many elements to it. I liked Eva's physical journey as she seizes upon a random email in Adam's inbox, leaps to conclusions and takes it upon herself to follow the source, expecting to find one answer and actually finding something she could never have predicted - just as she had been unable to see the direction her life was going to take at the beginning of the story. I liked Eva's emotional journey as she grieves, has to deal with everyone else's grief and tries to rebuild her life. I liked the mystery surrounding who Adam had been communicating with and why, and the impact this has on Eva. I thought the ending was extremely satisfying - pleasing, affirming and right. 

There are elements of David Nicholls' One Day in parts of this story but there are also elements of something more literary. The writing is beautiful and at times full of real melancholy, yet other times, lighter and with a more deft touch. McNaughton is clearly a very talented writer with a love for words, language and characters. Her depiction of emotions is flawless and her exploration of human nature, love and relationships is poignant and insightful.

We think we know how this story might end. We think we know Adam - or think we have been reading the clues correctly. But, just like Eva, there is an unexpected journey ahead with an ending that is not obvious, yet proves just how you can find yourself at the point when you are most lost. 

If you want a story to immerse yourself in then this is the one. McNaughton's power to entertain as well as move is impressive. This is a special read and I highly recommend you do not miss out on How I Lose You. 

How I Lose You by Kate McNaughton was published on the 8th March 2018 by Doubleday. 

My thanks to the publisher for providing an advance copy via NetGalley.